I shivered again, but this time the cold wasnt to blame.

He spun me round and held me close to him. He then took my hands in his.

"Lets dance." He laughed childishly.

I damned my mind for being so unclean. Of course he had been talking about dancing.

Before I could speak, he was spinning me around and around. We didnt need music. We had our own rhythm. He let go of one of my hands and twirled me around. We twirled and danced just like the snow outside. Finally, we grew dizzy and fell to the floor, laughing like children.

We had fallen in such a way that he was on top of me. He looked down at me and I adopted the look of hunger that had graced my body outside of the flat.

"Are you ok?" He asked, a look of desire flashing into his smile.

"Never better." I replied.

Then it hit me, the sweet scent of his cologne. The scent flowed through me and sent me into fantasy. I needed him.

I was staring at him. He was staring at me. My heartbeat began thundering, I was positive he would be able to hear it.

He leant down and I allowed me eyelids to slide closed as I felt his lips brush mine. He kissed so gently and lovingly, as he varied the pressure that he put on my lips. It was no secret to either of us that he had taught me how to kiss. And I couldnt have had a better teacher. He was an excellent kisser.

I felt his soft, wet tongue against my lips before he slipped it inside to partake in dance with my own tongue. It felt like an eternity before he withdrew his tongue and busied himself in placing tiny kisses onto my lips.

"I love you," I tried to whisper, but I wasnt sure whether hed heard as the words were devoured into another sweet kiss.

Finally, he moved away and looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

"I love you too." He whispered.

Suddenly I was filled with desire. I wanted him there and then. I began to show him how I felt by slowly and tantalisingly unbuttoning his shirt. He smiled at first, but soon he put his hand up for me to stop.

I was a little shocked.

"Darren, I thought you wanted this, I thought you said that today was the day?" I asked, utterly confused by his actions.

Then he smiled again and it was difficult to resist the urge to continue to undress him.

"I do want this. I want you more than anything else, but lets move to the bed. I dont like the idea of your first time being on a wooden floor." He chuckled.

I giggled too. He was so sweet and he really did love me.

I tried to get up, but Darren stopped me.

"Let me." He purred as he scooped me up into his strong arms.

It felt so good to be close to him and I could smell his cologne stronger than ever. I admit that I was a little disappointed when he lay me down on the soft bed.

"So you want my shirt off?" He asked sexily.

I wasnt sure how to reply so I blushed slightly and nodded. I was feeling coy, yet strangely euphoric. It was as though my brain had lost control of my actions as I massaged his denim-clad thighs and watched each button fall open.

Darrens expression told me that he was quite obviously enjoying it. He looked the same way that a cat does when you stroke behind its ears.

My eyes wandered back down to his chest. The shirt was totally open and I could see his soft, pink nipples.

He pulled the shirt from his shoulders and threw it to the floor. I couldnt peel my eyes from his amazing chest.

I must have been gazing for quite sometime because when Darren spoke, I jumped slightly as though I was waking from a trance.

"Rachel," He purred, stroking my cheek, "You can touch me if you would like to."

I giggled nervously as I moved my hands from his thighs and onto his bare stomach. His firm stomach muscles felt nice under my fingers.

Slowly and carefully, I began to move my hands upwards so that they tangled in his chest hair. Then across, one hand over each nipple. I stroked them gently and he let out a moan of satisfaction. The moan prompted me to go further so I wrapped my arms around his neck and gestured for him to lean down towards me. 

He did as I requested and I allowed my lips to graze one of his nipples.

"Mmmm, Rach," He moaned as I gently sucked on the chosen nipple.

He looked down at me and allowed a gentle finger to stroke my cheek and move my hair from my face.

He then moved his index finger and pressed it softly to lips. I kissed it and took hold of his wrist to lead the finger back to his own mouth. He pressed it to his own lips and then sighed.

He began to play with the straps of my dress and pretty soon the flimsy cotton outfit was lying crumpled on the floor.

He then looked longingly at me as I lay in my white, lace underwear.

"You are beautiful." He whispered as he gave me another sweet, passionate kiss.

He kissed my lips once more and then moved down to my neck. He kissed it gently at first and then chose a spot. I shivered and my body broke out in goose bumps once more as he licked the tender flesh of my neck. Then he began to suck at the skin as I moaned happily.

It felt so good. The sort of feeling that hurts, but hurts in such a way that it feeds into you and somehow starts a fire somewhere inside.

He sucked and sucked until he finally pulled away. Just as my breathing began to return to normal, he leant down and sunk his teeth into the bruised skin. I let out a cry of pleasure and pain and my eyes slid closed for a moment.

When I opened my eyes, I was staring at his crotch. I longed to remove those tight jeans. After all, it was quite easy to see that he was hard. The love bite must have given me confidence because I reached forwards and slowly and teasingly unzipped his fly. Then I let my fingers curl around the button of the jeans. Within an instant his jeans were open.

He laughed and slithered his way out of them, before kicking them to the floor. He then cuddled down close to me and held me again.

I thought for a moment before remembering what Darren had said to me the day before. "If theres anything you want, Ill do it. Its going to be your first time and youre going to call the shots. You need to communicate with me."

I took a deep breath.

"Darren?" He began, in the kind of voice that a child uses when they desire money.

"Yes?" He asked, mimicking my tone of voice.

"I really want you." I cursed myself the moments had poured from my mouth. It had sounded so cheap and sluttish when Id meant it sound sexy.

He wriggled slightly so that he was looking deep into my eyes.

"Is that an invite?" He asked, his hands playing with the top of my knickers.

I smiled and tried to look angelic. I wanted to keep him guessing.

"Maybe." I answered, accompanied by a cheeky smile.

He laughed and I felt one of his hands slip behind me.

"Would you like it if I didthis?" He asked.

At that moment I felt the fastening on my bra open. He flashed me a cheeky smile.

I didnt answer him with words. I used actions. I slipped my bra off and threw it to the floor. His eyes widened in surprise.

Soon all of our clothes were in a heap on the floor and we stared at each others naked bodies with a burning desire.

"Do you still want this?" Darren asked, sensitively.

I smiled.

"Of course I still want this." I reassured him.

He leant down and placed a needy, urgent kiss on my lips.

"Relax." He whispered as he moved his way down my body, "Im going to show you what heaven feels like."

I wasnt given a moment to doubt him because I instantly felt his fingers, soon followed by his soft, gentle, tongue.

My eyelids slid closed as I began to see a rush of psychedelic colours paint themselves onto the back of my eyelids. The colours swirled with every moan of pleasure that escaped my lips. It truly was my perception of heaven.

Suddenly, the touch stopped and I felt a hot breath on my cheek. My eyes opened and I looked at him once more. He truly was beautifulnot a word often used to describe a man, but for Darren it seemed to fit.

I stared and stared, trying to take in everything about him. If I were to never see again, I wouldnt have cared. My eyes drank him in until he finally spoke.

I stared deep into the calm pools of water that were his eyes and gave him my answer.

"I need you, Darren."

Words were no longer of use as he slid himself inside me and we allowed our bodies to speak the ancient language of passion.

It felt to me at that moment as though the Earth had stopped moving, the waves had stopped crashing to the shore and the snow had stopped falling. It felt as though we were alone in the world. We were alone in the universe, our universe of love and beauty.

We moved and breathed together just as each single rain droplet moves to a uniform pattern.

Finally, the Earth began to slowly kick back into gear, the wave crashed to the sand and the snow swirled once more. It was as though the pause button had been lifted.

"I love you." Darren repeated again and again as we lay in each others arms.

Our heart rates had almost returned to normal and we cuddled close to each other.

"I love you too." I whispered.

My head was close to his sweaty chest and I could hear his heartbeat thundering in my ear. Being there, alone and in bed with the man I loved, I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

I awoke with a start and looked around the room. A pang of disappointment hit me as I saw the Christmas tree and the warm, glowing room of my daughters house.

I looked down at my wrinkled hands and touched the fine, grey hair upon my head. I almost cried.

Why couldnt I have stayed seventeen? Why did time have to keep moving?

I sighed sadly and glanced over at the chair across the room from me.

There he was, Darren, sleeping like a baby. His was chest rising and falling with every breath.

It sounds silly, but for one second, I saw him again just as he had looked all those years ago. Blonde and muscular, with stubble around his jaw line.

THE END

Merry Christmas everyone!

© Rebecca Crossan 2003